Risk

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold:  when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
–   Charles Dickens

It is the end of February and tomorrow is the beginning of March.  We are that much closer to spring, the time to thaw out and come out of hibernation.  To say it has been a long winter is putting it mildly, especially with the long, dark, cold and very snowy December we had.  One day of thaw on January 1 was the only time I saw my garden.  Well it is Garden Bloggers Muse Day tomorrow.  In honor of this time when we can see birds returning and early bulbs blooming, I thought I would pick an appropriate muse and display a favorite picture of mine of snow crocuses that bloomed last year.  And having crocus this time of year is perfect given their meaning-youthful gladness; mirth.  I am filled with that youthfulness; the feeling of being born again; happiness and glee.

But that glee is marked with risk.  We take a risk each spring as we are born anew and especially as gardeners.  We risk it all as we plan and plant and hope our plants and veggies can make it through the weather.  Through the lack of water or too much water from a fast and early melt.  The risk of pests and fungus that would take our precious plants quickly and without warning.  But we know we cannot have the beauty and the harvest without the risk.

Since we know the risks, we prepare for them as best we can and then we accept the consequences.  Sometimes it is starting over and sometimes it is letting go.  My first time growing tomatoes I was hit with an early blight and that was it…I had to accept it no tomatoes that year.  Last year my basil succumbed to a blight, but I was able to order basil from outside the area and salvaged one plant.  It helps to gain knowledge to help avoid risks or be prepared for how to deal with what Mother Nature dishes out.  Two bloggers who have been instrumental in helping me take more risks in the vegetable garden are Diane Mumm’s Greenhouse Gardening and Gardening Jones.  Both have tremendous knowledge that they share to help with planting vegetables.  Visit their websites to find a wealth of information.  Armed with this knowledge I find I am able to take more risks without the fear.

So it goes in our lives as well.  It is all about taking risks.  Our relationships come with risk.  How do we know that we can trust this person who is our friend or our lover.  We only know by digging in, getting to know them and taking the leap.  It is recognizing the consequences of that risk that helps.  Again do we stay or do we go?

And then there are the inner risks; being able to push ourselves to be who want to be or do what we want to do.  This blog was born out of the need to finally take a risk, and it has paid off ten-fold.  I have been writing some memoirs that have been recognized and one was a winner.  And I also have written poetry to be placed in a wonderful anthology of women writers, Reflections from Women.  On March 1st those chosen will be announced.  I was lucky enough to find out in advance that both my poems on grief were chosen for publication.  The book has not yet been titled, but it will be published in May, 2011.

Now I find myself taking an even bigger risk.  Beginning a business is a huge risk and one I have obsessed over.  Am I really sure this is what I should do?  Do I have the stuff it takes to make it happen; to make it a success?  Do I have the talent and know-how?  Others believe I do, but it is more about what I believe and that changes daily.  I look around, I read about others who are in the garden design business and I think, no way…they have so much more talent…who do I think I am kidding…and yet these are the same people encouraging me, not scoffing but saying good luck and let us know how it is going…

But I am realizing a few things about risk…it is fear…pure and simple!  And I am determined not to fear life. Yes I struggle with this whole concept of being my own boss, of owning this new business.  It is much like any struggle I have in my life.  Some days I swing forward on the pendulum of life and move into a new enlightenment; I make changes as I move on my path.  But then there are those dark places I have traveled from that I find myself back in and wonder why?  And the answer is as simple as that is life.  We think we are done with something, but then it shows up again to challenge us to make us grow even further.  So we just recognize it, accept it happened and then we move forward again.  Not taking it too much to heart is how I have lived with these journeys back in to the dark.  And then as I move forward, I think about what makes me happy, grateful, fulfilled; what is my bliss?  Finding these blissful things in life helps us move forward and define our essence even more.

Gardening is my bliss.  Sharing my knowledge and designing gardens for me or someone else is my bliss.  So I am taking the ultimate risk by following  that bliss.  Please join me in my new venture–Purple Door Garden Designs.

I challenge you to take a risk…whatever it may be…do it…you will not be sorry…you will know if it is right…you will feel this incredible feeling in your belly…listen to it..it is your intuition..your inner guide telling you..GO FOR IT!!  And by all means have fun!!!

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

~Anaïs Nin