“It sounds corny, but I’ve promised my inner child that never again will I ever abandon myself for anything or anyone else again.” ~ Wynonna Judd
I met up with Donna Marie this past year when I was out walking in my new neighborhood. It was spring and I saw lots of rocks being painted and left as gifts for friends they couldn’t play with in person anymore. It was then I heard a voice say clearly, “We could do that you know. Paint rocks. It would be fun.” And I answered, “I don’t know the first thing about how to paint rocks.” The answer from the voice was simple, “We could learn.” I wasn’t sure who I was talking to (except myself), and I was sure I wasn’t having a mental breakdown (well fairly sure). But it wasn’t until I took a course that appealed to the little girl creative in me, that I was sure I had met up with my inner child, Donna Marie.
I actually have many iterations of my inner child. All based on nicknames given to me at key times in my childhood.
There’s Donna the Digger. She’s the toddler who loved to dig holes and play in the dirt. Yes even that beautiful dress didn’t stay clean for long. I call her my early gardener.
Then as I started school, Donna Marie was born. I was called that because whenever I was in trouble my mom used my full name. I was not fond of the name until recently.
As I got to ages 9-12, I was Pussycat. An affectionate term given to me by my mom and other relatives because I have green cat eyes, and I was the type of kid who like to chill out and sit on my grandfather’s lap where he would rub my back. Or I would go fishing and amuse myself for hours. Starting to see the picture. I do feel like I am in the movie Sybil sometimes with all these different inner child personas.
Finally as I started my teen years, my dad christened me with the name, Princess. Maybe because I was asserting myself and wanted things my way. Clothes, music. And God forbid if you touched my stuff. Boy it seems I was always losing teeth later in life than most kids as I notice in these photos.
I haven’t been in touch with my inner child for decades. The inner creative child who wanted to play outside, swing, ride her bike, roll down hills, and draw, paint, color etc. She had been held in abeyance for so long I had convinced myself that I wasn’t artistic or very creative.
But she knew better. And since I invited her out to play, she has been in my ear, my heart, my very soul ever since. She even helped pick out my word of the year, DELIGHT. I believe that the death of my mom brought her out this past year finally. She was needing healing as was I, feeling like a little girl who had lost her mother. And while I still feel that loss as if I was 7 years old, it has been helpful in my healing to have her with me so I remember how to have fun in my life again.
My inner child has been with me always, I just never realized it. She was faithfully there trying to get a word in edge-wise, to be heard over the din of my ego mind. But now that I have been keeping true to my inner vital spark, she can be heard loudly.
She is why, I have loved walking in the snow and making snow angels (yes that’s me this year) again. She is why I began painting, and buying stickers and beautiful washi tape to fill my daily journal. And she is the gardener, garden designer, lover of flowers and nature and birds. She chases the butterflies and delights in all things outdoors.
And she is why I will be painting rocks soon. I promised her we would. I bought the book, I have the rocks and I have the paint and brushes. It comes down to allowing Donna Marie to guide me instead of adult Donna who will delay and procrastinate so she doesn’t have to deal with the inner critic. Thankfully, Donna Marie is louder and bolder than that critic. And when I make her a promise, I keep that promise as it is a promise to myself after all.
I’ll be highlighting my creative projects here as well as my new garden as spring arrives sometime likely in April. Can’t wait to share with you. Have you connected lately with your inner child? I strongly recommend it. You won’t be disappointed.
All the pictures shared in this post were taken with my Nikon Coolpix or iPhone camera, and manipulated on my iPhone using the apps, Pixlr and Prisma.
All original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Gardens Eye View, 2010-2021. Any reprints or use of content or photos is by permission only.
A fine rediscovery, Donna! I think for many of us, puberty shuts down the voice of our IC, when we believe we must abandon the IC for a more acceptable adult one. But never dead, she lives on, patiently (or not!) waiting for a chance to come out again. Better late than never! Painting is a good gateway as we all could use a bit of creative play. Have fun!
I think you are correct Eliza in so many ways. And thanks for your support!
I’m addicted to painting rocks. You will love it. I can recommend a good facebook group if you are interested. I started with paint, but have now moved on to paint pens as I can can so much detail. So now I use a combination of paint and paint pens, I shared many of my ideas on my website.
Thanks Linda I will check out your website and I would love to connect with a group
Hi Donna,
A great rock painting group on Facebook is
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ReefRocksFreeWorkshopshttps://www.facebook.com/groups/ReefRocksFreeWorkshops
It has lots of tutorials and hints.
There is also a private group that I can send you an invite to, or I think you can apply to join
https://www.facebook.com/groups/beginnersrockpainting
I don’t seem to have you listed as a friend on my facebook page so can’t send a direct invitation.
Thanks Linda. We’ll have to remedy the FB friend thing. Send me a friend invite on Facebook to Donna Donabella. Then we can stay connected. And if you want to invite me to the other group that would be great too.
Oops, it ran the links in altogether, trying again
https://www.facebook.com/groups/beginnersrockpainting
https://www.facebook.com/groups/501108220637513
My inner child is frequently the healthiest and happiest part of me. I never regret listening to her. I am so glad that you are allowing yours to surface. It is a heap of fun isn’t it? And fun is something we all need.
It is indeed the best part of me and incredible joy when I connect.
Your inward examination is beautifully articulated and illustrated, Donna.
Thank you dear Kris. It has been a fun journey so far!
Sweet! My inner child was on hold a little bit this past summer and autumn because the extended family needed an adult. And the polar vortex is trying to suppress her again. But she comes out every time I hike or garden and breathe fresh air. Next week she’ll be back. 😉 I understand, dear Donna. Cheers!
I know our inner children would have been great friends growing up. They love so many of the same things. Here’s to both of them and the joy they bring.
Ah, it is so good to let our inner child out to play! Life is too serious, sometimes (especially this past year). Great to be able to life and have fun, too. 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. So happy I finally discovered what was missing.